


Forging A New Path

by pinazee



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: C/7 but only to destroy it, Time Shenanigans, endgame spin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:34:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27694205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinazee/pseuds/pinazee
Summary: Seven years into their journey, and the crew of Voyager stumbles upon a planet that has a peculiar take on time.An alternate take at a series finale filled with J/C angst and some wish fulfilling of mine for Seven.(tags will be updated with the chapters just FYI)
Relationships: Chakotay/Kathryn Janeway, Chakotay/Seven of Nine
Comments: 14
Kudos: 46





	1. Chapter 1

Oytahano opened his balcony doors, allowing the morning dew to drift easily inside with the light, cool breeze. He took in a deep breath, inhaling the new days sun, his floor-length white robe offering little protection to the cold. He brought his pale finger tips together, bringing them up over his head in a large circle, his large brown eyes closed, and prayed to the Great Meridian. Every day brought him closer to The Shift, brought him closer to his greatest achievement, his legacy. He opened his eyes onto the city before him, his city, with its expanse of tall buildings and sweeping parks and felt immense pride. His 43 years as Supreme Leader of the International Commonwealth was prosperous and the rate of banishments was in sharp decline. He knew it was _his_ policies put forward that put his people at ease, making them more compliant, accepting of their journey’s. He did that, and he didn’t need the Matriarchs guidance to do so.

“Ogaro,” he breathed loudly. Soon a stout pale man walked in, head bowed, the tips of his fingers pressed together.

“Yes Supreme?” he said looking at the floor apprehensively.

“Where is my morning Poho fruit?” he said disdainfully, gesturing to his empty dining table.

Ogaro fell to his knees, his arms circled around him, his nose touching the ground.

“Sir, last night the Matriarchs deciphered a new piece of destiny. The Great Meridian enlightened them to the expanses of dead fields in our west banks. Many of our fruits are now on the verge of extinction. Including the Poho.”

Oytahano gritted his teeth, his hands clenched behind his back.

“And why wasn’t I informed?” he asked bitterly.

“Sir, the Matriarchs acted swiftly. There was no time.”

“And yet there was time to burn the fields,” he scowled. Ogaro trembled on the ground. Oytahano kicked him over onto his back, making him yipe. “Bring me the First Matriarch.”

Ogaro scrambled to his feet, bowed low with the customary circled arms and fled.

Shortly after, Ogaro returned with a tall elegant woman, her long purple robes billowed behind her like a river. Her dark face lit with the glow of the gold ring around her forehead that served to emphasize her large blue eyes. Unlike Ogaro, who shook beside her, the First Matriarch grinned knowingly, her fingertips brought together, and despite her standing, held herself regally.

“You wished to see me, Supreme?” she said casually.

“Do you forget the order that was established when making decisions about the Fate?” he said tersely.

She gazed at him as if inspecting a piece of lint.

“Hardly,” she said. 

“Then you know that you are to read the Meridian and then I, as Supreme Leader, am to enact upon it. This was agreed upon three centuries ago. Why, then, did you circumvent me?”

“It was a matter of urgency. We felt a delay on your part could irreparably harm the Great Meridian.”

“That’s still my decision to make!” he yelled, pacing the room.

The First Matriarch simply gazed at him with mild interest.

He continued, his voice becoming more aggressive with each syllable, “I am the Supreme, I alone discipline the Fate!”

The First Matriarch cocked her head to the side and smirked. “Without our readings, you would be nothing. Let’s face it Oytahano, you’re nothing more than a figurehead, a mascot for the people to rally behind. The Matriarchs know all and you’d do better to show your respect.”

In that moment, the doors burst open.

“Sir!” cried a man as he rushed in, his eyes alight with excitement.

Oytahano continued to glare at her as he snarled at the newcomer. “This had better be important.”

“It is sir! It’s been spotted! Voyager has arrived!”

Chakotay didn’t know why he was nervous as he stood outside Kathryn Janeways door, a bottle of Andalusian champagne in hand. For all account, this was going to be like any other dinner of theirs, filled with laughter and comfortable silence that came with years of friendship. The news he was going to share with her tonight shouldn’t change anything and still he felt a shift, a step towards something, or maybe away from something, he couldn’t tell. Either way it was moving uncomfortably, unsettling in nature, making his finger hesitate beside the button that would signify his presence. With a deep breath he pushed it, and walked in when he heard a muffled _come in_ from the other side.

When the door whooshed open he was hit first by the faint vanilla smell of the candles burning in the dim room, giving the air a soft warm glow in stark contrast to the harsh metallic lines of the ship. Her quarters, while the most grandiose on the ship, was nonetheless nothing more than equivalent to a studio apartment and left little ability to change. And yet, her space held a type of hearth his own quarters, with its similar harsh metallic lines, lacked. He supposed that came with the familiarity that came with their weekly dinners here, and the comfort he found was spurred by memories of late night laughter and solemn commiseration. He probably spent more time here with her than in his solitude, for which he was grateful. He’d spent enough time forging his path alone before Voyager, fighting endlessly with the world outside him and the world within him. Voyager, he felt, had saved him in more ways than one and while the Delta Quadrant had by no means been an easy journey, it was necessary, sparking change and giving him a fresh start.

And here he was, silently observing her as she put up a finger asking for one more minute, her eyes not leaving the PADD she held in her hand, and he was looking for another fresh start.

Finally she set the PADD down, beaming up at him as she walked around the desk to greet him and said, “I’m sorry, I promised B’elanna I would read her report before tomorrow morning and I only just remembered. That baby is giving her a lot of anxiety.”

Chakotay joined her at the table, setting the champagne on the table to grab some glasses and said, “It’s her first. I remember a young Maquis woman who insisted she would never have children. This is new to her.”

“I meant engineering,” she grinned as she set the table, “That was every bit her baby as well. She raised it, put her heart and soul into it for the last seven years. You can’t just hand it over to someone else to look after.”

“I imagine she’ll be back in no time.”

“Not too soon if I have anything to say about it. Her and Tom both are ordered to have 6 weeks minimum with no disturbances. I want them to absorb as much time as a family as possible before this trek home consumes them again.”

“B’elanna staying still? You should know better than anyone you ask something impossible. You two are cut from the same cloth.”

Kathryn gave him a wry grin as she scooped potatoes onto their plates, and said knowingly, “Parenthood is going to change them both. It’s exciting, isn’t it? We’re about to have another Voyager child.”

Chakotay popped the cork to the champagne and quickly poured the bubbling liquid into their glasses and raised his, “To the children born at sea. May they find steady footing and home within these walls.”

They clinked their glasses and drank.

“I worry about them,” Kathryn confessed.

“You worry about everyone,” Chakotay mused.

“But this is a special kind of worry. One that’s mingled with a sense of loss. Tom and B’elanna’s child, and Naomi, even Icheb, and the other children that are sure to follow- they’ll never know the satisfaction of having solid ground, a beacon of familiarity. Their formidable years will be fraught with an ever-changing landscape, they won’t know the comfort that comes with staying still.”

Chakotay thought about her words as he took a bite. He imagined growing up on a starship would very much be like being one of those ancient concepts of an Army brat, roaming from town to town, not able to garner any long-term relationships with anyone their own age. He had to admit, it seemed like an isolating existence.

He took a sip of champagne and said, “They will be surrounded by people who love them, and will have the small community that we created here to defend them to the death. That’s more than most people get.”

“I suppose. We really built something special out here amidst the nothingness.”

“In large part thanks to you,” He grinned, tilting his glass in her direction and taking another drink. Looking across the table he noticed the briefest of frowns cross her lips, and realized he inadvertently brought up something sour, an insecurity he knew she held next to her doubts. Her eyes quickly looked away from him as she fiddled with her napkin and cleared her throat. 

“I have a treat for you,” she said with a smile, “Before Neelix left I asked him for his Jiballian fudge cake recipe.” she leaned over and lifted the opaque lid of a round dish sitting off to the side and with a _Tada_! revealed a poorly frosted white cake, with red flowery trimming.

“Don’t worry I didn’t cook it all by myself. I had our new chef, Ensign Reynolds, help me. With any luck, it should be edible.”

“Remind me to warn Ensign Reynolds about the safety protocols of the kitchen, rule one being not to let the captain anywhere near an oven.”

“Ha. Ha. I frosted it myself as you can tell. Seeing as how it’s my first attempt, I’d say it was a success.”

“We’ll have to wait until tomorrow to see.” He joked. “What’s the occasion?”

“I need a reason to bake?”

“Well, I need to know there was a reason you would risk blowing up the ship.”

She narrowed her eyes at him playfully. “I suppose I was missing Neelix. We’ll probably never see him again.”

“Probably not. If there’s one small saving grace, we know he left to a better place.”

“That sounds morbid.” She smirked.

“You know what I mean. Neelix has a real shot at happiness.”

“He does. One of the luckier ones among us.” Kathryn took a deep breath and slumped into her chair, her food untouched. “70 years seemed like such a long time when we started. And here we are, Seven years later. Seven years of battles and loss, with decades more to go.” She leaned towards him now, gazing at him with those piercing blue eyes, searching for something. “Did we make a mistake?”

“We’ve been over this before. You saved the Ocampa by blowing up the array. We couldn’t have lived with ourselves if we’d chosen our home over their lives.”

“That’s not what I mean. Why didn’t we settle on some planet? Fortified our own colony out here. Why spend years travelling towards something we’ll die before reaching?”

“If I recall correctly, we had this discussion before also, when we were making our alliance with the Borg. I suggested our goal wasn’t worth the risk of our lives, and you with your infinite wisdom, ignored me completely.”

“Do you still believe that then?”

“It’s too late now, don’t you think? Besides, I can’t argue with the results. We’ve never been so close.”

“But is it like fools gold? We can communicate now, sure, but that doesn’t shorten the distance. Maybe it would have been better for everyone to assume we died. They’re putting their lives on pause again until we may or may not get home.”

“What brought this on? It’s not like you to second guess or settle. For anything. I’m the cautious one here, remember?”

“Harry’s mom sent me a letter, thanking me for his safety. And I was reminded of all the times that I put him in harms way, put all of us in harms way, for what’s probably an improbability. As soon as I found out Ensign Wildman was pregnant, I should have found us a suitable planet to live on. A starship is no place for a child. The number of times this ship has been raided, overtaken by Kazons, Borg, the Hirogen, macro viruses, and even our most recent guest who had us abandoning ship- and Naomi was present for all of it. What kind of life is that for a child?”

“You’re forgetting that Naomi has a father that loves her. That a lot of them have family that love them. That is what we’re fighting for. The alpha quadrant, Earth- it’s meaningless without them.”

Kathryn grinned at him.

“When did you become the wise old sage of the ship?”

“Who are you calling old?” he said in mock annoyance.

“Let’s face it Commander. The salt and pepper gave it away.” He stroked his hair subconsciously. “Oh, don’t think it’s a bad thing. If anything, it makes you more distinguished. Annoyingly so actually.”

Chakotay felt his cheeks warm.

Kathryn sighed, the glass of champagne in her hand, held loftily, “We’re all getting old out here. Pretty soon I’ll be promoting Harry to Captain and I’ll be waddling my cracking, aching body into oblivion. Promise me that if I reach the point where I become a burden, you’ll sedate me and shoot me out into space.”

“Why do you get to go first? What if I don’t want to mourn you?”

“That’s unacceptable. You have to live to the ripe old age of 110 and see them home. That’s an order.”

“Well if Captain Kathryn Janeway orders it so, then even death will have to listen.”

“Yes, him and I are on a first name basis. Besides he owes me one” and then under her breath “…or 39 to be exact.” She abruptly changed the subject, not wishing to linger on the topic of death, and continued, “Seven was acting strange today, did you notice?”

Chakotay looked away, the subject he had been dreading had finally arrived.

Kathryn took a sip of her champagne and continued, “She kept staring at me and then looking away. I felt like I had something in my teeth all day and no one was saying anything.”

“I believe she was waiting to see when I would tell you,” he said, drinking the last of his champagne.

She leaned back crossing her arms, sensing something ominous. “Oh? Tell me what?”

“I, uhh, actually have some news. Well Seven and I do, but I thought it might be best if I disclose, I mean as senior officer, that I should be the one to tell you.”

“Tell me what?” she asked more apprehensive than amused.

“Seven and I have started seeing each other.”

The amused grin on her face faltered slightly.

“Oh,” was all she said. Chakotay stared at his plate. He didn’t know what kind of reaction he was hoping for or expecting. If the last year was any indication, it wouldn’t change a thing between them. They could go about their daily routine and he could finally move on. She’s had two years with her Dear John letter, two years to decide whether she could make that next step with him and he got nothing. She’d made her point clear enough, and he was hardly the type to push something that she didn’t want. After the pain of seeing her so content with another man, albeit at the time living a life she didn’t know was fabricated, he realized the hope he’d clung too with such ferocity had already been put out by her years earlier and it was time for him to drop it. He could learn to be content with her friendship and nothing more, with time. And shortly after he came to this realization did Seven approach him. Startled at first, he didn’t know what to say. Beyond flattered by her date proposal, and more than a little curious about what a date with Seven would be like, he said yes. He was pleasantly surprised with the ease with which he could converse with her and found himself looking forward to their time alone. 

Kathryn smiled at him, “Well congratulations. I must admit, I didn’t see that coming.”

Chakotay relaxed slightly, ignoring the sadness that followed with her casual acceptance, and finally looked at her. 

“It surprised me too.”

“You know, you didn’t have to disclose to me. I told you in the beginning, I wasn’t going to enforce any kind of fraternization policy, that goes for our guests as well. Though, I guess at this point Seven isn’t necessarily a guest. Nor Starfleet. Huh, we never really gave her a title. I’ll have to think on that.”

“Seven insisted on telling you. She wanted to make it official and I think she wanted your blessing.”

Kathryn grabbed her champagne glass and inhaled the rest of the contents before pouring herself another and playing with the stem. 

She cast her eyes down at the bubbles and said quietly, “Please don’t take this the wrong way, but have you thought this through?”

Chakotay crossed his arms. “What do you mean?”

“Seven is still naïve in a lot of ways, especially with relationships and feelings. I don’t want to see her get hurt.”

“What exactly do you think I would do?” he asked defensively.

“Nothing, I suppose. Forgive me, I’m just protective. I feel like I raised her these last three years.”

“She’s not the same Borg she was when we first brought her on, and she’s certainly not the little girl they assimilated.”

“No, of course not. You’re right. Look you’re both adults. Do what you wish, you have my blessing, though you don’t need it.” she ended rather bitterly.

Kathryn stood suddenly, called for the lights to be turned on, blew out the candles and began cleaning the dishes.

“We should probably call it a night. Thank you for the champagne, it was lovely,” she said brusquely.

Chakotay stared at her, feeling the rising tension in the air swell like a balloon about to pop.

“What about the cake? I’m still willing to risk food poisoning,” he joked, a flat attempt at relieving the pressure.

Kathryn kept her back to him, staring at the replicator as she recycled her untouched potatoes.

“Hardly seems appropriate anymore, don’t you think?”

“Why not? I’m still your First Officer and you’re still my friend.”

Kathryn threw the last of the dishes in the replicator and peered back at him, her hands on her hips.

“We’ve been tossing that word around for years but you don’t see me having candlelit dinners with Tuvok.”

Chakotay’s heart skipped a beat. 

“What are you saying?”

She sighed and gave him a tense smile.

“Nothing. I’m happy for you, honestly. Seven has really become something quite extraordinary.” 

Chakotay, his jaw steel, bit back, “Yeah my favorite thing about her is how direct she is with her feelings. I don’t have to play any guessing games with her.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Apparently to you, nothing.”

Kathryn opened her mouth to reply when the ship suddenly lurched and they were thrown backwards, Chakotay steadied himself with the wall and Kathryn, with nothing to hold on to, fell against his chest, grabbing his arm.

Kathryn pushed herself away from him and tapped her comm badge quickly.

“Janeway to the bridge. What’s going on?”

There was a pause until Ensign Kim replied, “You should get up here Captain. There’s someone here who wants to talk to you.”

Kathryn looked at Chakotay puzzled and the two of them took off to the bridge, leaving their argument behind them and the confusion of what lay between them to settle another time.

When she arrived she found Harry standing stiffly in the center, his hands behind his back, staring at an agitated pale man on the viewscreen.

She strode immediately to his side, gauging the tension between the two.

Ensign Kim spoke quietly into her ear, “We were hit with some kind of pulse and then he showed up. He won’t talk to me. He insists on talking to you only.”

Captain Janeway frowned and turned to the viewscreen. The man before her was some of kind of pale humanoid, with large brown eyes and pale yellow hair that swept behind him in a cascading braid.

“This is Captain Janeway, what reason do you have for attacking my vessel?” she said sternly.

“The pale man grinned widely and she had the sudden impression of being ogled at like a prize tiger in a zoo.

“It _is_ you,” he said, excitement emanating from him.

“I’m sorry, have we met before?” She asked curiously.

“In a way. What did you call yourself?”

“Captain Kathryn Janeway, pleased to meet you,” Kathryn had a sinking feeling in her stomach, something told her this was not going to be a fly-by meet and greet.

“Captain Kathryn. It’s nice to finally give you a proper name.”

“Do I have another?” she asked lightly.

“On my planet, we simply call you the Luminary.”


	2. Ofrallo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kathryn learns a little about the Luminary.

Captain Janeway stood anxiously beside the transporter awaiting the arrival of their guest with Chakotay and Tuvok by her side. The ease with which this man felt he could talk to her, as if childhood friends reuniting, made her skin crawl. She felt oddly like a fly in a venus fly trap, being lured in with the familiarity he was pushing onto her. She still didn’t know what they hit the ship with. There was nothing on their sensors to indicate any damage, which only served to enhance her discomfort. Scans not only couldn’t penetrate his ship, they weren’t picking it up at all. His intentions were unknown, his power unknown, and his attitude unnerving. It was a less than ideal combination.

“Are you sure about this?” Chakotay asked beside her, all remnants of their conversation earlier pushed aside. He was back to being her First Officer. That ability to compartmentalize was something she always appreciated about him.

“Something tells me we don’t really have a say in the matter,” she replied bitterly. Their soon to be guest hadn’t demanded anything so far and instead said things as if it was inevitable. _I’ll beam aboard your ship and we’ll talk. You’ll tell me about Voyager and I will explain what I can Captain Kathryn_. She could hardly argue one man could pose a threat, and their sensors hadn’t picked up any other ships in the vicinity, and so, had agreed to beam him aboard. She had the distinct feeling, however, that if she hadn’t agreed he would have beamed himself aboard anyways.

Soon the molecules of light arrived and placed their guest in front of them. His tall frame hid behind a long dark blue ornate robe completed with a gold collar that had different insignias that seemed to suggest some kind of rank. Standing in front of him now he was even more imposing, being at least 2 heads taller than she and grinning so big his ridged cheeks hit his eyes.

She composed herself, bowing slightly, a decorum she’d found insulted the least amount of new species, and said calmly, “It’s nice to meet you in person. What may I call you?”

He swept forward, making her take a slight step back to keep looking him in the eyes. He brought his fingertips together to form a circle and went to place them against her shoulder. Tuvok and Chakotay both threw their hands around their phasers instinctively. The guest hardly noticed them, his eyes fixated on Kathryn as he swept the circle from one shoulder to the next and finally lowered his arms. Kathryn assumed it was some kind of greeting and raised her hand to gesture to them to stand down.

“You may call me whatever you like Luminary, but my title is Supreme Leader Oytahano,” he said beaming.

“Well Oytahano, perhaps we should start with why you keep calling me Luminary. I don’t believe we’ve ever crossed paths before,” Kathryn stated.

Oytahano finally looked around at the others, as if noticing them for the first time.

“May we find a more private location? What we must discuss is not for common ears,” he said, his nose pinched.

“Certainly, but my Commanders will join us if that’s alright, This is my First Officer Chakotay and my Security Officer Tuvok,” she said gesturing to the men beside her.

“Loyal to you then, are they?” he asked, staring at Chakotay’s tattoo with mild interest.

Chakotay, who held as much distaste for their guest as he seemed to hold for them, interjected, “Completely.”

Oytahano chuckled, looking back at Kathryn. “Good. I’m glad the Luminary has such devotion travelling with her. Lead the way Captain Kathryn.”

Kathryn escorted him to the briefing room, Tuvok and Chakotay right behind them. She sat at the head, Oytahano to her left with Tuvok and Chakotay on her right.

“Now, how do you know about Voyager?” she asked.

Oytahano leaned in close to her and said steadily, “It was foretold by my people, hundreds of years ago that this ship would carry with it a Great Shift on my planet. It will be easier to explain when we arrive and I show you but for now, if I may?” he gestured that he would like to take her hands. She offered them to him reluctantly. Suddenly the deep tattooed lines she saw extending from one of his middle fingers and down his arm and, she assumed, reached all the way around and down the other middle finger, glowed red from within. Her fingers tingled like they had fallen asleep, and then the tingling traveled up her arms and through her spine and suddenly her vision changed.

She gave a quick intake of breath as she landed in a silent movie. Visions of things she’d never seen before swam before her, a family, a type of flower, a thrown, a long black stone wall, all in split second pictures until it stopped on her face, scrunched up in concentration.

“What I’m showing you is my complete lifeline and that’s you,” he let go and the pictures in her head vanished along with the pins and needles. He held out his hands to show her the now dimming lines that ran along the length of his arm. “This is my past, present, and future. On my planet we have what we call the Great Meridian that acts in a similar fashion. It’s a ring of time that extends from one pole to the next and carries inside its energy the complete history, present, and future of our planet. Our Matriarchs have learned to tap into that energy and learn the course we must follow. Long ago, it was seen that you and your ship will shortly be followed by the Great Shift, a renaissance that will alter the course of our livelihood for centuries. It didn’t provide you a name so we designated you the Luminary, the light that guides us into our next phase.”

Kathryn leaned back, sensing a headache forming. She hated messing with time, and hated even more so when it came after her.

“If you can see the future than why do you need us at all? You will have already seen what we offer you,” she suggested.

“It’s not quite so detailed. I can’t explain how it works per say, that is for the Matriarchs. You can ask them when you see them.”

“I’m afraid you’re getting ahead of yourself. We don’t even know where your planet is. Our sensors aren’t picking up anything for at least 20 light years.”

“You should be picking us up now.” Tuvok cocked his head and quickly took to the screen behind them.

After he exhausted all methods of retrieving such data, Tuvok said plainly, “Our sensors do not pick up a solar system within 20 light years.”

“Ah yes, I apologize. You need to set your sensors to our frequency.” He stood up and pushed some buttons and suddenly the screen lit up with a whole planetary system, once hidden from them.

“This is our solar system. Six planets in total, only one contains life. It’s called Ofrallo.” He tapped some more buttons and put on the screen an image of the planet itself. Surrounding the lush green and blue orb was a wide multicolored glowing ring. It appeared to be still and yet it glittered in a way that suggested constant movement.

These were the moments that Kathryn loved her job. If what Oytahano was saying was true, she was staring at time itself and the scientist within her perked up, her eyes sparked as her mind whirled through a list of possibilities.

Janeway stood to observe it more closely.

“Tuvok?” she asked simply.

“A class M planet, population unknown. The ring is comprised of an unknown temporal energy. Our sensors are unable to detect more due to the high levels of said temporal energy.”

“Does the energy impact your planet at all?” she asked curiously.

“As far as we know, the only thing it provides is destiny, though that’s hardly a little thing,” Oytahano laughed.

“Has it always been there?” Chakotay asked, his own curiosity peaked.

“Since the beginning. However, we only began studying it a couple hundred years ago during our space exploration age and quite by accident. At the time, we thought it was simply an energy barrier. Then we had a pilot test out a new propulsion system and the rocket exploded. He ejected himself out in time but he crossed paths with the Great Meridian for half a second. And in that miniscule amount of time he went mad. He spent the rest of his life rambling about too many pictures and how he couldn’t see clearly.”

“He saw time, too much of it apparently,” Kathryn postulated.

Oytahano grinned. “Yes. He is a hero among our people now. He brought about the First Shift.”

“What all do you know about Voyager then, if you can see our future?” She asked sitting back down beside him.

“Sadly, not much. A glimpse and nothing more.”

“Then how do you know we are the cause of your renaissance?”

“All excellent questions Kathryn, all of which may be answered by the Matriarchs. I’d like to know more about you and this vessel. What brings you through our space?”

“We’re explorers,” she stated, not daring to offer more. Admitting they were alone could be a fatal mistake, especially to a society that held time so closely.

“Fascinating. How long have you been exploring?”

“Seven years.”

“My, that’s a long time to be away from home. Surely you must miss consistency?”

“Sometimes, but we knew what we signed up for when we joined Starfleet.”

“Starfleet is like a government?”

“It’s a vast interplanetary network of scientists. We seek only to learn about new life and civilizations.”

“Then I see your being here will do more than just our planet good. You no doubt will find us as interesting as we find you. Your ship is surprisingly primitive to ours. I bet we have technology that you could only dream of.”

“Such as that beam you hit us with,” Kathryn suggested.

“Yes, sorry, I should explain. That beam was nothing more than a temporal frequency adjustment. It put you in our temporal alignment.”

“Will you be able to put us back in our original temporal alignment?” Chakotay asked, with just a hint of belligerence.

Oytahano frowned at him. “In time.”

“I see,” Kathryn said calmly, as she folded her hands together tightly. “Oytahano, if there is one thing you should know about me, it’s that I don’t like my ship being used as leverage. If we are to continue talking, I need to know how to put us back where we belong. It’s about trust you see.”

Oytahano quickly smiled, patting her wrist. Her lips pursed as she placed her hands on her lap and out of his reach, leaning slightly more away from him. Her patience for his familiarity was running thin.

“Come. You will meet the Matriarchs and they will answer all your questions,” he said, using that tone again that implied it as fact and stood to leave.

“Not without the knowledge to take us back,” she said brusquely.

“Yes, yes of course. The frequency can be found back on the planet.”

Kathryn considered her options. Until they knew how to get back, Oytahano held all the cards and as much as she loathed giving him the deck, she had no other choice.

“Very well,” she resigned, standing herself.

“Excellent! I will beam you over to my ship and I will take us there. Voyager will be unable to orbit the planet due to the Great Meridian, however we do have a base on our moon. They are free to dock there but I must insist they stay on the ship.”

Tuvok interjected, “The Captain must have a security officer with her at all times.”

“And aid,” Chakotay quickly added. 

Oytahano waved his hands as if swatting a fly. “If you must. But our planet has a sensitive ecosystem. There will be protocols in place that they _must_ adhere too.”

“Can we bring our tricorders?” She asked.

“That should be fine so long as you don’t take any samples.”

“Not a problem. Tuvok, will you please escort our guest to the transporter room and send Seven in on your way out. I will meet you there shortly.”

Oytahano approached her, placing his hands on her arms and staring deeply into her eyes. It took every fiber of her being not to brush him off. He said gently, “I know I am a stranger to you, but please understand, I’ve known you since I was able to read my timeline and have known of the Luminary long before that. Our fates are intertwined and I can’t wait to see how.” Oytahano gave her a long bow, the customary tips of his fingers pressed together to form an O and left with Tuvok.

Kathryn turned to Chakotay, frowning.

“I don’t like this at all. It feels like you’re walking into an ambush,” he said.

“I don’t either. There’s something he’s not telling us. Not to mention we’re dealing with a planet that is literally surrounded by time. This is my worst nightmare.”

“Temporal dynamics do seem to follow you.”

“I seem to recall someone not that long ago going on his own little temporal excursion,” She smirked.

Chakotay smiled tensely at the memory. He had the distinct pleasure of walking through memory lane, quite literally, and met Kathryn for the first time- again. The person she used to be was far more optimistic, albeit with a rigidity that came with leading her very own starship for the first time. And she had asked him, that question that hurt more than being zapped by temporal lightning. It hurt because the answer he had to give was one he hated to admit. They’d never crossed that barrier, _she_ never crossed that barrier, and her younger self had made it clear it could have been an option all along.

At that moment Seven walked in holding a PADD, her fingers tapping the side in anticipation, eager to resume study.

“You wished to see me, Captain?” She acknowledged.

Kathryn turned to her and said, “You’re coming with me. It sounds like we won’t be allowed to gather too much information and I’ll need your quick observational skills. You have the ship Commander. While we’re away have B’elanna and Harry work on getting us back to our own temporal alignment, have a crew utilize the frequency adjustment Oytahano used for the sensors to update our computer system, particularly transporters and astrometrics. Learn as much as you can about that planet. I get the feeling they’re not going to let us leave until they get what they think we’re going to give them.”

“Be careful, will you? Oytahano has established a personal connection with you already,” Chakotay said, worry furrowing his brow.

“I’m always careful,” Kathryn replied, grinning.

Chakotay choked on his laugh as Seven cocked an eyebrow.

“I’ve counted at least 49 instances since I’ve been on Voyager where that has proven not the case,” Seven said dryly. Chakotay smiled widely as Kathryn glared at her.

He added, “Lest we forget you flying us through binary pulsars.” 

“Please, I knew Voyager could handle it. she hasn’t failed us yet,” Kathryn stated proudly.

“Famous last words,” Chakotay said stoically, shifting the jovial tone back to reality.

Kathryn went to put her hands on his arms to sooth him instinctively, when she remembered their unfinished discussion from earlier and thought better of it, suddenly stepping away from him.

“If we don’t contact you within eight hours, you are to fly this ship out of here and never look back, is that understood?”

“Yes, Captain,” he said rigidly, knowing full well he would do no such thing.

Kathryn nodded to him and turned to leave waiting for Seven, who lingered behind.

“May I have a moment with the Commander? I won’t be long,” she said.

Kathryn’s gaze flashed past Chakotay, nodded, and left stiffly.

“Have you talked to the Captain?” Seven asked turning to him.

“I have,” Chakotay replied. “She’s given us her blessing.” _More or less,_ he thought. Seven smiled and gave his arm a squeeze.

“I am pleased. This step has the effect of solidifying our relationship. Perhaps we can try the next phase.”

Chakotay’s face felt warm.

“What did you have in mind?”

“So far, our dates have been alone, hidden away. Now that we are officially a couple, perhaps we go on a double date, say with Lieutenant Paris and Torres. I don’t see the appeal, we see them daily and have hardly anything in common, however, it is a couples only activity and I’d like to continue expanding my experiences.”

Chakotay gave a half laugh out of relief, “Oh I see.”

“Your response indicates you thought I would say something else?” Seven stared at him questioningly.

“A double date is perfect. Although in Torres condition, it might have to be in sickbay. She’s going to pop any day now.”

“She is indeed on the verge of expelling her fetus. I will look over our schedules and find a suitable date and time when I return.” Seven leaned up now, giving him a kiss on the cheek and a warm, genuine smile before walking out.

Chakotay gripped the chair beside him before heading to the bridge. All his confusion could be dealt with later, right now he had a crew to look after.

The journey to Ofrallo was short. Oytahano’s ship was sleek and glowing. A cursory glance of the ship alone was enough to realize their society was well ahead of them mechanically. His ship was large, and yet he could fly it alone with ease. Physical buttons didn’t exist at all, instead they popped into the air intuitively. Kathryn, Seven, and Tuvok had remained quiet during the journey as he explained the rules outsiders must follow. They could roam as they please, so long as they stuck to the sidewalks. Conversations with his people were strictly prohibited, with the exception of The Matriarchs, and they mustn’t interfere with anything. They were to be observers only.

“May I ask why?” Kathryn finally interjected.

“We are very strict with who we allow into our alignment. That is because outsiders are unpredictable and like I mentioned our ecosystem is sensitive,” Oytahano replied.

“Should we be decontaminated?” Kathryn offered.

“It’s not sensitive in that way. The timeline I showed you, my timeline, it’s fixed. They are given to us at birth by the Great Meridian in the ceremony of Ot’hulo Gran. Our duty to our society is to follow that timeline, no matter how long or short it may be. Outsiders, then, are variables we can’t control. Any action, whether it’s providing information, or simply plucking a flower, can severely alter the Great Meridian.”

Kathryn had so many more questions, all of which faded away as they finally descended upon Ofrallo. The conference screen had not done it justice. The ring surrounding the planet was far more expansive and dense. The colors swirled together in a rushing river, constantly changing and bubbling. And still, it was energy. Even from the safety of the ship she could feel a pulse emanating from it that made the hairs on the back of her neck stand like static.

“If you look closely, you can see an Ot’hulo Gran is taking place right now,” Oytahano gestured to the northern part of the planet.

Kathryn squinted her eyes, looking for what he could be pointing at. Then she saw a faint line of energy being pulled down towards the planet from the Great Meridian and into a grand white domed tower.

“That’s where we’re headed. The Matriarchs are awaiting your arrival.”

The moment the ship passed into the atmosphere, Chakotays voice rang over her comm.

It was fuzzy, but she could make out _Chakotay to away team._

“What is it Commander?” she replied.

“We’ve lost our transporter lock on you. The planet has too much interference.”

“Can you compensate?”

“We’re working on it.”

“Stand by,” Kathryn replied. She turned to their pilot, uneasiness settled in her gut. “How is it that we can transport to your ship but not your planet?”

“My apologies Captain Kathryn. A lapse on my part. The Great Meridian scatters large energy fields. Transporters are incapable of penetrating Ofrallo.”

Kathryn was getting that sinking feeling again. Until she had proof otherwise though, diplomacy would have to come first. So far, he had yet to actually threaten them in anyway. While it was certainly an unusual first contact it was hardly the worst, and certainly not the worst she’s had in the last year alone. But without transporter capabilities she felt very much like she was walking with him hand in hand into a trap.

As they descended upon the temple, Kathryn couldn’t help but gasp at the large crowd forming inside a long courtyard before a grand white marble staircase, being pushed back by security.

“What’s going on?” She asked, as Tuvok and Seven peered through the windows themselves.

“Word has spread of your arrival. Ofrallon’s have flocked for a mere glimpse at the Luminary,” He replied smiling. At the look of her uncertainty he added, “Please excuse them. You’ve been a part of our path for so long, you became more folklore than anything.”

The ship landed at a designated pad right before the crowd. The moment they walked out of the ship doors the crowd roared so loudly into applause and screams it made Kathryn jerk her head back and plug her ears momentarily until they adjusted to the volume.

She leaned over to Tuvok and said loudly to be heard over the crowd, “I’ve got to say Tuvok, its nice to have a good reputation for once, but this isn’t exactly what I had in mind.”

“Indeed.” He shouted back.

“They are…fervent,” Seven noted, staring particularly hard at a crying woman in the front row in utter bewilderment.

Oytahano joined them. “They are seeing a living legend right before their eyes. If you’ll just give me one moment.” He turned to the crowd, gesturing to someone nearby, who Kathryn saw pull out some sort of device, and soon Oytahanos face was projecting above them. The crowd went quiet as he began, “Citizens, today we take our next step. The Luminary,” The crowd yelled again. Oytahano smiled and waited for them to quiet down. “The Luminary has finally arrived. Our next phase into the renaissance has begun. Prosperity will greet us all for years to come but don’t forget, that while she guides us, it is up to each of us to uphold our timelines. You must do your part to ensure that our future remains strong. There will be challenges going forward, and so, I am calling on you to lean on the discipline and courage that I know you have. With all of us working together, doing our part no matter how small it may seem, you give us ground to build on. Remember, a single stone will cause ripples, a thousand stones will build a dam. So, go back, read your timelines with care, and let’s start building. For Ofrallo!” Oytahano threw his hands into the air in a large O. The crowd went suddenly silent and returned the gesture with pride. In unison, they gazed up at the Great Meridian and released their arms, finally clapping and gathering themselves. Oytahano turned to the three Voyager crew, pleased with his grand display.

Kathryn gave him an uneasy grin in return. It briefly occurred to her that the prime directive was blown to smithereens right before her eyes, though, apparently some future version of herself had already done that for her. Or, perhaps, it was an alternate version of herself, she couldn’t be sure at this point. Either way she could feel a headache forming and if she had to guess, it pulsed along with the Great Meridian.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm making up a whole new world for the first time so bare with me if there are any inconsistencies haha.


	3. Ot'Hulo Gran

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kathryn takes a risk.

Oytahano escorted them up the long flight of white marbled stairs and into the temple. They stood just inside the doors as they closed behind them, blocking out the cries that could still be heard from the dissipating crowd. Across the room stood a row of purple robed people wearing ornate gold bands around their foreheads. They were silently bowing in the customary Ofrallon way.

Oytahano stepped forward, gesturing to the group, and said, “Captain Kathryn and guests, these are the Matriarchs, the translators of the Great Meridian.”

A woman with the most ornate gold headband stepped forward, wearing a smile that made her large blue eyes dimple, and said, as she greeted Kathryn by placing her circled hands to her shoulders as Oytahano did before, “Welcome Luminary. We are honored to share such time with you. I am the First Matriarch, Olona.”

“You can call me Kathryn,” she replied, getting more and more unsettled by the title they gave her.

“Very well.” Olona’s eyes swept to the two people that stood behind her. “We weren’t expecting others. Most intriguing.”

“They are a part of my crew. This is Tuvok and Seven of Nine.”

“They are not your species,” she stated matter of fact.

“Tuvok is Vulcan, a far more logical species than my own, and Seven is human with some Borg thrown into the mix.”

The Matriarchs turned to each other frowning. Kathryn expected this. Nearly everyone had been impacted by the Borg, and due to their reputation, Seven had suffered some tremendous prejudice since reclaiming her individuality. She fought hard to separate herself from the tyranny that stole most of her life and constantly had to justify the respect she earned. She imagined, as tiring as it was to repeat herself, that Seven was used to it, but for Kathryn, who had grown very fond of her, felt very nearly ready to battle anyone who would dare call her a mindless Borg drone. Seven was more than just an incredible asset too and as she progressed she found compassion and a fierce loyalty towards Voyager and even more intriguing, was fiercely loyal to doing the right thing. While she still saw things more black and white, every day she found a different shade of gray in-between, something Kathryn was immensely proud of.

Kathryn was ready to strike up a defense, yet all Olona said was, “It is an honor to meet the crew of the Luminary.”

Kathryn, dropped the tension in her shoulders, relieved, and replied, “Oytahano told us you may be able to answer our questions.”

“Anything you need, we will provide. We are here to help.”

“Well I’d like to start with how Voyager is supposed to impact your world. So far, all we’ve been told is that we’re supposed to bring some sort of renaissance. A cursory glance at your society makes me think that’s impossible.”

“Oh? How come?” Olona asked, her gaze warm and penetrating at the same time. Kathryn felt quite like she was being scanned.

“From what we’ve seen so far, which to be fair isn’t much, your society has technology that we already share but also, in some cases, is far more advanced than ours. I don’t see much that we can offer you that should spark such a drastic change.”

“Come, I will show you what we know,” Olona replied with a smile.

The First Matriarch escorted them around to the side of the temple. It was a beautiful sunny midafternoon. The air was warm and the breeze was cool, drifting unfamiliar scents in their direction. The garden was as large as the temple itself. The outside lined with billowing green trees reminiscent of willows. Inside was a large circular, black, smooth, stone wall. Kathryn found a familiarity with this place that she’d never seen before and looking at Oytahano it finally occurred to her why.

“This is the wall from your timeline,” Kathryn said to him, who had been following behind them quietly.

Olona turned around suddenly and asked of him, “She could see your timeline?”

Oytahano gave her a stiff nod.

She looked at Kathryn with keen interest and said simply, “Interesting.”

They continued walking inside the circular black wall. The center held a large pond, that gurgled pleasantly, and mossy bricks beneath their feet gave a softness to their steps.

The benefit of first contacts was the excitement that came with discovery and there were many plants Kathryn had never seen before and smells she’d never experienced, and she couldn’t help but grin, a slight skip in her step as they moved their way around the wall. It had images carved into it, a history or art that she was unfamiliar with. The First Matriarch finally stopped at a particularly harrowing scene, and something she finally recognized.

Olona gestured to the wall and said, “This is our entire history from the point at which we learned how to read the Great Meridian roughly three centuries ago. It shows the turning points in our history, the events that are the clearest to read. We call them anchors. All the time, all the steps in-between that take us from one anchor to the next, is called a stone. Those are not as easy to see and what requires our daily interpretations.”

Kathryn looked at the stone wall in distaste. Damaged and scratched as it was there was no mistaking the dead stare of the Borg queen. She gave Seven a look, asking without words whether she knew anything about this. Seven stared at the wall with great interest and shook her head.

“You’ve been attacked by the Borg?” Seven asked. “I have no recollection of this incident from the collective.”

“You wouldn’t,” Olona replied dismally. “I paused here to explain our greatest shame. If you look closely,” Olona gestured to a picture right after the Borg queen to an expanse of bodies piled up, and dead fields. “The Borg would have destroyed us to near extinction about 100 years ago. This is the one and only time that we took fate into our own hands. The Matriarchs before me believed they could prevent such devastation. They developed a way to hide from the Borg before they ever got the chance. This is when we placed our planetary system into a separate temporal alignment.”

“How did you manage something like that?” Kathryn wondered.

“I’m not an engineer, I can’t say with any certainty, but from what I remember they shot some kind of bomb at our star that held energy from the Great Meridian.”

“And is that why this part is scratched out then? Because it never happened?” Kathryn postulated.

“Yes. But it came with an aftermath we could not foresee. The Great Meridian retaliated. The moment we went out of phase, a wave of energy cascaded around it causing a planet wide blackout. At first we thought it benign until we inspected it more closely and found that all the anchors from that point forward had changed.” 

“That was what you wanted wasn’t it?” Seven asked.

“It changed for the worse. Our original progress after the Borg attack was a steady incline as we rebuilt, eventually leading to you, but afterwards, when we so arrogantly took the timeline into our own hands, we saw the rise and fall of many societies leading to a great civil war that decimated our resources and half a billion lives. It took us decades to fix and countless lives were spent to get us back on track. This is why we adhere to our individual timelines, to ensure we reach the point of the Great Shift. Which leads me to you.” Olona continued walking a little farther down and gestured to the wall.

Kathryn couldn’t help but gasp, her hands touching her lips. Staring back at them was her own face, peering up into the sky in determination. Behind her flying away was a small ship she was all too familiar with, written across the hull was _Voyager_. On the ground in front of the image people had left offerings of letters and flowers at varying stages of decay.

“This has been depicted here since the Prime Matriarch first read the Great Meridian. Even after the anchors changed from our interference, we kept this up to remind us what we were working for. If you look here,” Olona gestured to the point afterwards, to a long stretch of unknown smiling citizens, plentiful fields, and star systems she didn’t recognize. This stretch of the mural took up three times as much space as any other had. Olona let her hand rest on the wall fondly. 

“The Great Shift is the time that takes place right after your arrival. It depicts a long period of time, we estimate at least three centuries, of prosperity and happiness. We’ll finally be able to explore outside our alignment, meet new species, grow into something better. We will have no wars or famines from the point at which you arrive. You give us something that turns around our way of life.”

Kathryn paled. They were making her out to be some sort of agent of change, and she still couldn’t see how anything that they had could benefit their society so completely. There was no technology that could prevent wars ( _plenty to end them though_ , she thought), there was nothing she could say or do that could impact a famine. And they already had the technology that could send them out into the rest of the quadrant.

“I’m sorry, I still don’t see how I’m going to help you. I’m just a Captain of a starship. My expertise is mainly in weird astronomical anomalies and diplomacy,” she stated, frowning.

“There is a way we can find out more,” Olona replied, her eyes lighting up.

“What’s that?”

“Would you be willing to undergo an Ot’hulo Gran?”

Kathryn looked at the lines etched into Olonas hands peeking out from her robe, wondering what that would entail. Unlike Oytahano, Olonas interest in them seemed far warmer. Her familiarity felt genuine, yet she couldn’t shake off this feeling of being trapped. She supposed it could be because of their inability to transport on a whim, or perhaps the uneasiness their interest in her felt. And still, there was no denying Voyagers had severely impacted their society already and she was just as curious as them to find out why.

“I’m not sure.”

Olona pressed, “I wouldn’t suggest it to outsiders normally, but now we know you have the capacity as we do to hold the temporal energy. Oytahano would not have been able to show you his timeline otherwise.

“The ceremony itself is not that painful. It’s performed on infants. It should feel like nothing more than a pinch. If we were able to look at your timeline it would significantly improve our understanding of how you impact our world.”

“How about this. I’ll do this ceremony if you give us the frequency to our original temporal alignment.” Kathryn stared at Oytahano when she said this. Olona turned suddenly to him.

“Why do you withhold this? The Luminary and her crew are not prisoners,” she growled.

Oytahano appeared to take great displeasure at her addressing him as if chiding a toddler, and replied, “I was not withholding anything. I didn’t possess the information at the time. They were hit by a different ship before I arrived. I have sent Ogaro after the pilot to retrieve that information.”

Olona glared at him. “See to it that you do.” She turned back to Kathryn, bowing. “My apologies Luminary. Please do not use his error to judge us all. We are not here to keep you against your will. We will provide the frequency you need to get home and you don’t need to exchange it for anything.”

Kathryn smiled gratefully. Oytahano’s continuous lapse in judgement seemed to extend only to himself.

“Well, can we observe an Ot’hulo Gran first?”

“Of course! We have one taking place soon. We should head back.” Olona guided them back into the temple and to an elevator that took them up the tall tower they had seen before. When the doors opened, they revealed a grand white dome. The floor was covered with golden etchings of a history she didn’t know. At the center of the domed ceiling was a large golden chandelier with intricate loops, and parts of the walls had curved mirrors that gave the effect of making the room appear much larger than it was. There were no windows and was instead lit by a warm light that bounced off the walls from the floor. It was an interesting mix of feeling open and vast while also cozy and caverned.

In the center stood a woman holding her child, talking to another Matriarch. Past them, on the other side of the room was a golden pillar that held, upon closer inspection, a control panel. The chandelier, she realized, was actually some sort of antenna. Kathryn marveled at the seamless way they incorporated technology with art. While the room felt heavily ritualistic, in actuality it was nothing more than a lab or maybe even an operating room.

Olona ushered them off to the side towards a row of benches to sit down, their footsteps echoing loudly around them. The Matriarch gave a disapproving glare until they recognized Olona, bowed, and returned to the woman and child. The womans face had lit up at the sight of the Luminary, yet returned her focus back to the Matriarch.

Olona whispered, “The Matriarch is explaining the process of the ceremony. Normally this ritual is observed by close family. In this case it looks like it’s just her.”

Shortly after, the baby was placed on a center pedestal in a makeshift bed filled with blue pillows. The mom gave the baby a kiss on their forehead and stepped away, bringing her hands together to form a circle over her head and began chanting something under her breath. The Matriarch went to the wall and started messing with the golden control panel until the center of the dome opened and the outside sky could be seen just above the antenna. The sudden bright light made Kathryn and the others squint as their eyes adjusted. The Matriarch fiddled some more with her device and soon the antenna was adjusting its angle.

Suddenly the room was awash with a kaleidoscope of colors that swirled around bouncing from mirror to mirror. The air felt alive as energy circled above them until it focused on the white stone circle that held the child and the edges began to glow. Seven immediately pulled out her tricorder and began scanning.

Kathryn meanwhile was enthralled by the light show. The prismatic energy began encompassing the child, circling faster and faster until sparks of light began peeling away from it. Soon the baby was surrounded by these pieces and they began their descent onto it as if magnetized. The baby, who had been utterly mesmerized by the display reached for lights. Kathryn held her breath, admittedly concerned for the child’s safety, as the first spark touched the child’s fingertip. It let out a bellowing cry of pain. Soon after the other sparks followed suit and then it was all gone. The machine turned off, the dome returned to its former self and all that could be heard was the crying child in the dim lighting.

The mother quickly approached and picked them up, cooing them comfortingly. The Matriarch joined her, inspecting the newly formed lines on the child and grinned.

Olona smiled and whispered to Kathryn, “It’s good news. The child has a long lifeline.”

“What happens next?” Kathryn asked quietly.

“The child will have a preliminary timeline observed by the Matriarch. This will provide the child with its anchors. Until the age of 17 it is up to the parents to have that child adhere to the anchors. Until then, they will learn to read it themselves and understand the importance of adhering to it. For now, they will go home and celebrate the beginning of a new fate.”

The baby finally stopped crying, their head nuzzled into the moms neck and they were escorted out. The First Matriarch turned to Kathryn and grinned.

“Would you like to try?” she asked.

Kathryn hesitated to answer. On one hand this was a once in a lifetime experience and it certainly didn’t appear harmful, but on the other hand learning her future could be dangerous. She didn’t know how this would affect her, or if those lines would be permanent, whether or not she could live with having a permanent timeline at all. She wondered also, if this would violate some sort of temporal directive. What if she was shown a future that led to disaster, would she be able to prevent herself from intervening? There were a lot of unanswered questions, and as each new question popped up her curiosity became more and more intrigued. There was no denying that she had an influence on this planet already and she felt obligated to see it through. This process could lead them to understanding their purpose here.

“I’m in,” she finally concluded.

For the first time since they landed Tuvok interjected, “Captain, I must emphasize caution. We don’t know how this will affect your human physiology.”

“I’m aware Tuvok. You will be monitoring me the whole time,” she turned back to Olona, “Can the Ot’hulo Gran be stopped at any time?”

“I’m afraid not. It’s imperative that it finishes the line, otherwise the energy stays within the body and that could be fatal. I promise Luminary, if I believed this to cause you any harm I would not suggest it. You’ve seen how vital you are to us.”

Kathryn, her mind made up, said decidedly, “Well, how do we start?”

Olona smiled and bowed gratefully. “Come with me. We’ll get you changed. You’re not going to want to wear anything constricting.”

Kathryn left with Olona, while Tuvok and Seven remained in the tower.

Seven began inspecting the technology with keen interest.

“It’s fascinating. The technology they use directs the energy down to these emitters embedded into the floor which scatters the energy field. What I don’t understand is how that energy knows to specify each person’s individual timeline,” Seven wondered aloud.

“My hypothesis is it connects with our own specific energy fields, minimal though they may be. Perhaps the circular motion of the emitters are meant to enhance that focus,” Tuvok postulated.

Seven turned to Tuvok now, concern furrowed her eyebrows. “Captain Janeway has not thought this through. We should have conducted more tests to determine its safety before she volunteered.”

“Agreed. However, the Captain is aware of the risk.”

“She does this often,” Seven commented, a hint of sadness bit her tongue.

Tuvok cocked an eye. “Does what?”

“She takes unnecessary risks on her behalf frequently. In the past, it has been for something she deemed worthy or a just cause, but in this instance, I don’t see one. It seems to only satisfy her curiosity.”

“To Captain Janeway, scientific discovery _is_ a worthy cause.”

“At the risk of her life? Does she forget her significant role as Captain? She is… important.”

Suddenly her combadge rang.

_Chakotay to Seven,_ it gargled.

Seven tapped her badge, “Yes Commander?”

_We lost contact with you. is everything alright?_

“Yes, Commander. We were observing an Ot’hulo Gran ceremony. There were significant quantities of temporal energy surrounding us, most likely that is why you lost our signals.”

_Why isn’t the Captain answering?_

“She is currently getting changed. She will be performing the Ot’hulo Gran herself,” Seven commented, a slight disapproval in her tone.

_Well you should know we still don’t have transporter capabilities. If something goes wrong, we won’t be able to get you out._

“Understood Commander. I don’t think that will stop her though.”

_I doubt it will either. Will you let her know we’ve received the frequencies from Oytahano. We are working on a way to give us manual control of the beam through Voyager._

“I will inform the Captain.”

_Chakotay out._

In that moment, Kathryn walked in with the First Matriarch followed by a procession line of the other purple robed Matriarchs who fell in line around the room silently. They had given her a white halter top and her hair placed in a short bun at the base of her neck. She still wore her black slacks however and carried her jacket and shirt.

Kathryn walked over and asked Tuvok, “Would you mind holding these?” Tuvok nodded and took them. “Keep that tricorder on me. I want as much information as possible into how this works.”

“And if it starts to damage you?” he asked. 

“Olona has assured me that if that happens I will be rushed back to Voyager for treatment.”

“Chakotay has just informed us that they have received the frequency from Oytahano and are working on integrating it on Voyager. We also remain unable to transport. Making it back to Voyager will be timely.” Seven commented, emphasizing her last sentence.

“Noted,” Kathryn said gently, knowing part of Seven’s comment was out of concern for her safety. She turned to the First Matriarch who was waiting for her in the center of the room, the pedestal now removed. She took a deep breath and joined her. The first Matriarch took her hands gently in hers and once again Kathryn felt a familiarity for something she’d never experienced before. It occurred to her that this could be because of a memory Oytahano shared with her, though she didn’t recall seeing Olona in the many passing images she was shown. If that was the case she wondered what kind of relationship the two have or did have as they appeared to hold contempt for each other now.

Olona spoke formally, “The Ot’hulo Gran is a sacred ceremony that bonds each person with the Great Meridian. Through this process, we become one with the Fate, we trust it, nurture it, and it in return guides us, placing us on a course that is at once unique to each person and part of a whole. By placing your faith in the Great Meridian, you offer it your servitude, following the path it shows you, whether that path is short or long, rough or smooth. We do this, in the hopes that we become one stone closer to the Great Shift.” At that Olona gave her a wink and squeezed her hands. “May the Great Meridian bless you with a long and gratifying timeline.” She let go of her, and gestured to the center of the ring. “You just need to stand there Luminary. We’ll do the rest.”

Kathryn nodded, apprehension building in her chest as Olona walked towards the controls. The moment the domed ceiling opened up and the colors began swimming around above her, her fears and doubts were at once diminished by her insatiable curiosity and she couldn’t help but grin at the unknown she was about to greet head on. The pull from the energy was stronger in the center and she nearly felt like she was levitating. If her hair hadn’t been pulled back she was sure it would be sticking out on all ends from the static. Then the energy hit the emitters in the floor and she felt something tug at her. Nothing painful, more like being surrounded by a gravitational force. Somewhere in the background she could hear the Matriarchs chanting around her in unison. Soon the sparks of light danced around, cascading like lightning bugs and she knew what was coming next. She took this split second to turn to Tuvok and Seven and give them a reassuring nod before extending her middle finger to greet the first spark.

It felt very much like being stung by a bee and she couldn’t stop herself from letting out a quiet gasp. Then she was bombarded with the rest of the sparks. Her skin stung mildly as it paved her timeline deep within her, making its way up her arm and to her spine. And then suddenly she was witnessing her life literally flash before her eyes. She saw Chakotay beside her on Voyager, then an admirals rank, a garden, a large office, flashes of people from her life all jumbled together leading to what she assumed to be her death.

Then she felt something go wrong. The mild stinging turned drastically into fire and her right arm felt very much like it had been sliced off completely. Looking down she saw the line that was forming had looped around instead of completing at her middle finger tip like the rest of them. She couldn’t see the point at which it ended but assumed it must have been her shoulder as it exploded in pain. She let out an agonizing wail and collapsed to the floor unmoving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally this was part of the last chapter but it was getting pretty long (for my bite size taste that is) so i split them. Could be a while before the next chapter :(


	4. A Glimpse of the Future

Kathryn straightened her uniform jacket and brushed some flyaway hairs behind her ear. She stood outside Tuvoks door, taking the few seconds she had left to flatten an already flattened collar and straighten an already straight pin. They were precious seconds, the last remnants of hope she could give before she had to deliver the news she’d just received from Starfleet Command. A message delivered from Admiral Paris himself.

As she was about to ring the bell, Tuvok opened his door and appeared in front of her wearing a rich purple robe and a stoic expression. She stepped back ever so slightly in surprise and smiled.

“Good evening, Captain,” he said, nodding slightly in her direction.

Kathryn poised herself and replied, “Good evening, Tuvok.”

“May I assume that Lieutenant Kim has informed you of my wish for solitude this evening?”

“He has.”

“And you have come to persuade me otherwise?”

Kathryn smiled. “I have.”

Tuvok stepped aside to allow her entrance into his room.

“I can assure you Captain, my absence does not reflect my lack of fondness for Icheb,” Tuvok said.

Kathryn gazed at him wittingly and said, “I know Tuvok. And I know the reason you’re not going. You can’t shut yourself out of our lives. You have a lot of life left to live.”

“In my condition, it will not be much of a life. In this instance, given the progression of my disease and my inability to deduce when an-” he searched for the right word, “-episode- will occur, I do not want to take the risk that I could inadvertently distract from the festivities.”

Kathryn grinned slightly and circled in mock thought as she replied, “Let’s push aside the fact that we love you and we want you there celebrating one of the few occasions we have out here worth celebrating. What is your current rate of episodes per day?”

He responded, “Four point seven.”

“And how many have you had today already?”

“Four. That is hardly-”

“And the probability, you will have a fifth?” she continued.

“23.8%.”

“And how long do your episodes last?”

“They average nine minutes and 43 seconds. Though, I don’t think-”

“So even if you were to have an episode it would last no more than 10 minutes of the four hour party. A mere four point two percent of the total time if you forgive my rounding.”

Tuvok let out a tense sigh and replied tersely, “It doesn’t matter how long they last. The fact remains that these episodes are unsettling to witness, and to be candid, disconcerting for me. Four point two percent only reflects the time you see it. It doesn’t reflect how long it is remembered or felt. I do not wish for Ichebs day to be overshadowed by the memory of my decline in health.”

Kathryn frowned and changed her approach. “That’s an oddly self-aggrandizing idea for you.”

He stared at her quizzically. “How so?”

“To think yourself so central and so vital to Icheb’s happiness that a ten minute lapse would ruin his day? Does it bother you so much that your presence, while important and meaningful, is nothing more than a footnote on what today means for him?”

He stared down at her, his face twitching. Suddenly, he walked around to his coffee table and flipped it, causing Kathryn to step away quickly in shock. She briefly wondered if he was having an episode now until his gaze met hers and then fell on the backside of the table. As she stood closer, her eyes widened. Carved into the table was nonsensical etchings- the scribblings of a madman. She brushed her fingers lightly across the grooves, if only to prove they weren’t an illusion, her gaze falling on him in sorrow.

Tuvok faced the windows, choosing instead to stare at the passing stars, and spoke to the room, “This is what I am becoming. I will not have what should be a joyous occasion tainted with the memory of my decline. It would be unkind to Icheb and dishonorable for me.” Kathryn stood and went to place a comforting hand on his shoulder, only to have him pull away. “Even if Starfleet Command could find a way to transmit the cure, the damage to my cortical regions is too extensive enough for me to ever return to full capacity.”

She walked around to face him, grabbing his hand tightly in case he tried to pull away again. “This disease does not define you Tuvok, and it certainly doesn’t have the right to take away your future. If you decide to shut us out, live the rest of your life in solitude, then it wins and your life will have ended long before your heart stops beating. _You_ get to decide how this story ends. I know it feels like you don’t have any control but you do. _You_ spin the narrative and right now you have a choice. So please Tuvok, fight for your happiness, fight for every last second of it and I’ll be fighting right beside you, to the end.”

Tuvok stared at her searchingly as he pulled his hand out of hers. “You should be leaving. As Captain, your presence is vital at the ceremony.”

Kathryn brushed a quick tear out of her eye and nodded as she stepped back. She was on her way out when she remembered the other reason she was there and turned around and said, “I received a message from Admiral Paris,” Tuvok turned his head slightly in interest, “They’ve discontinued the research. The Vulcan Science Academy has run through every scenario they could think of and have hit a dead end. I’m sorry my friend.”

Tuvok nodded solemnly and returned his gaze to the stars zooming past outside his window. “Thank you for informing me. Please pass my regards to Ensign Icheb. I will send him a formal letter of my congratulations later this week.”

Kathryn struggled to leave as she hated the idea of leaving him alone right now. She leaned up against the door that closed behind her and let the tears flow freely. Her hands shook as they unconsciously came to her mouth. From the other side of the door she suddenly heard a great crash. She quickly wiped the tears from her face and pressed her ear against the door. She could hear a faint rustling she assumed was him walking around and decided it best to leave him with his anger.

Standing outside the mess hall now, 15 minutes late, she hoped her eyes didn’t give away the tears she had just shed. The doors opened and she walked in as casually as she could muster with a grin on her face. The room had been emptied and replaced with rows of chairs all facing a small stage and podium. The Commander and Seven sat with Icheb in the front row to the left with First Officers Tom Paris and B’elanna Torres to the right with their daughter Miral. The rest of the seats were filled with various well-wishers and friends of Ichebs, including the Doctor and Naomi with Lieutenant Wildman. All eyes met hers as she briskly walked to the small stage and collected herself behind the podium.

Kathryn began, “Sorry I’m late. Not exactly a good example considering the occasion but like everything else the last 10 years this isn’t exactly Starfleet standard. Now, let’s get this show on the road, I’m sure we’re all eager to celebrate. Icheb, will you please join me.”

Icheb, now adorned with a Starfleet issued dress uniform, stood up rigidly and proud as he joined the Captain on stage.

Kathryn gave him a wink as she whispered, “Relax, it’ll be over before you know it.”

She turned her attention to the small crowd and said, “Today marks a very special occasion not only for Icheb but for our ship and Starfleet as a whole. While Starfleet gains one of the most exceptional recruits I have had the privilege to teach, Voyager has gained one of the best minds and hearts the Delta Quadrant has to offer.

Academically, Icheb has accomplished a great many feats despite his distant learning. He’s managed to score in the top 10% of his graduating class, has received a Starfleet Medal of Commendation for his exceptional quick thinking that saved Voyager from being overrun by the Hirroji’s, and has even placed third at the Starfleet annual Triathlon.

Perhaps more important however, is Ichebs natural ability to lead.” Kathryn gave him a reassuring smile, his mouth only giving the slightest of twitches to hint at a smile in return. To her, he was still the young lost Borg child Seven rescued not long ago. He was taller, and his hair a little longer and pulled back, and still, his eyes denoted the boy he was to her. She knew, of course, one day, perhaps today should have been it, she would have to let that image go and finally face the young man he was becoming. She never realized how incredibly hard it was going to be.

Kathryn continued, “Icheb, when we took you in, we had no idea the man you would become. It has been an honor to watch you learn and grow and I am so proud of how far you’ve come. Starfleet is lucky to have you but I daresay this crew is far luckier.”

Kathryn returned her attention to the crowd, briefly taking in Ichebs shaking hands at his sides.

“The Delta Quadrant has taken a great deal of things away from us- friends, family, time- but today I’d like to remember what it gave us.” She gestured to Tom and B’elanna, who grinned back at her. “New family,” She gestured to the Doctor, “Purpose and autonomy,” she gestured to Naomi Wildman, “Creativity and ingenuity,” and lastly she gestured to Chakotay and Seven, “And above all, love. Being alone out here, colonizers in our own right, we found a way to love, not only our fellows, but our enemies as well. We’ve been given a circumstance that has provided us with a unique perspective. I’ve said it before, but this crew really is a family and today, we’ve been gifted one new member.

So Icheb, I’d like to make a promise, from the entire crew. That as much as we ask of you, know that we will provide as much to you. We will protect you like our brother, guide you like a son, and love you like family.”

Sniffles could be heard from the crowd, and Kathryn was surprised to see the Doctor one of the few with tears. Miral had started banging her shoes against the chair causing the room to chuckle as Tom smiled sheepishly, wiped a tear from his eye, and picked her up. Kathryn gave Seven a nod, who came forward holding a box and faced Icheb with pride.

Seven had dressed for the occasion in a knee length black dress, her blonde locks pulled back in a tight bun. Recently though, she had taken to refusing to wear heels and instead paired her skin tight cocktail dress with some comfortable black sneakers. Her progression into finding what she liked and what she wanted had been more painstaking then Kathryn could have foreseen. She developed her own taste slowly, backpedaling only once when Tom unfortunately made a comment about her new look (during her grunge phase). It took several tries and a lot of help from B’elanna before she finally found an everyday look all her own. It meant she had the same shirt in seven different colors and wore the same black pants everyday, but it was a start.

Seven couldn’t help a small twitch of a smile escape her lips. Icheb had been her responsibility, and in many ways felt like a younger sibling. She had been vital to his development, and he had been vital to hers. Though he was not a blood relative, he was Borg, an outcast among the crew like her. She knew of course, that Voyagers crew had grown to trust her allegiance, yet, there was always going to be a part of her that doubted their sincerity. Partly, she guessed, because she would always wonder herself if the Borg queen would ever take her freedom from her again, if one day she would find a way to reactivate her and place her back in the collective. It was a fear only Icheb could understand.

Kathryn continued, “Icheb, please raise your right hand,” Icheb raised his hand slowly. “Do you solemnly swear to uphold the regulations of United Federation Starfleet as well as the laws of the United Federation of Planets, to become an ambassador of peace and goodwill, to represent the highest ideals of peace and brotherhood, to protect and serve the Federation and its member worlds, to serve the interests of peace, to respect the Prime Directive, and to offer aid to any and all beings that request it?"

Icheb cleared his throat and replied boldly, “I do.”

Kathryn smiled, “Then it is with great pleasure, that we present to you, your first rank as a Starfleet officer, Ensign Icheb.” Seven took the pin out of the box and placed it on his collar, her expression of stoic fondness. The crowd began cheering and clapping. The Doctor took to whistling. Icheb finally allowed himself a smile as he stroked the new pin on his lapel.

Kathryn clapped along with them then shook his hand and said, “Normally, after the ceremony they would tell you which ship you’ve been assigned to but seeing as how we are your only option, I’d like to extend my deepest congratulations on joining the U.S.S Voyager, one of the finest Starfleet vessels in the Delta Quadrant.”

Icheb straightened his back and said, “If I may speak freely Captain?”

Kathryn chuckled. “Of course, Ensign.”

“Any ship with you as her Captain, would be the finest.”

“Keep talking like that and you’ll be a lieutenant before the end of the week.” Kathryn joked.

Icheb frowned, “I did not mean for any sort of exchange, merely to extend my respect for your leadership.”

Kathryn winked at him, “It was a joke Icheb. You’ll be earning your rank like the rest of them.” She shook his hand one more time. “Congratulations Ensign. You’ve earned it.”

Kathryn could tell Seven was itching to get a word with him and left to the kitchen to help set out the food and drinks. When she peered around the corner, however, it was to find someone had already beat her to the fridge.

“I’m surprised to see you back here,” she said, as the Doctor emerged holding a couple of premade platters. Kathryn immediately took a few trays from him and helped set them up on the counter.

“Just because I don’t eat doesn’t mean I can’t make myself useful,” he said bitterly as he started unwrapping the food.

Kathryn huffed. The Doctor had been particularly on edge all week, and as much as she wanted to hash it out with him, now was not the best time, and said simply, “I’m sorry Doctor, I didn’t mean anything by it.”

The Doctor sighed and said coarsely, “No, none of you ever do.” He finished placing the last of the food and silverware on the counter as the crew began lining up and took to the darkness of the kitchen to compose himself. Kathryn poured herself a drink and joined him, the relative solitude sounded far more appealing than slapping a smile on at the moment. They stood in the dark together, enjoying the quiet, as she took a few sips from the punch.

He finally leaned against the fridge, having come to a conclusion, and said, “I’m sorry, Captain. That’s no way to talk to a superior officer, or friend.”

“You’ve been tense all week,” she commented, not looking up from her punch. “Ever since we saved Harry.”

“If I’m being honest, downloading Harry’s memories into my matrix had unintended consequences.”

“Oh?”

“In a way, it was gift. Not only because it saved young Mr. Kim’s life. Thanks to him, I felt what it was truly like to be human.”

“Didn’t you get that with Seven? What made Harry’s memories different?”

“I got to experience a whole life. I saw Earth through his eyes, felt his highs and lows. I experienced pure joy when the girl he admired finally agreed to go on a date. I felt his pride when he graduated Starfleet Academy. I mourned when he lost his uncle. And did you know that Harry remembers being born? I felt true love in my- his- mother’s arms. It was astounding, an incredible gift I will never be able to repay, and if I had breath, it would have taken it away. But I don’t. The tears I shed for Icheb today are programmed, I didn’t feel them run down my face, they didn’t feel wet on my fingers. Dr. Zimmerman made me in his image but it’s a mask. I’m not human. I’m…just a hologram. An echo of a person and nothing more.”

Kathryn put her punch down and gave him a soft smile. “You and Dr. Barclay are venturing into a realm of science that we never could have imagined. So no, you are not human, you are becoming a whole new way to be. I can’t tell you what’s ahead, but you’ll figure it out.

Besides, your only 10 years old, going through an identity crisis is normal for a teenager. Yours just came early,” she jested.

The Doctor gave her a small grin in return. “So this feeling is normal for my development?”

“We’ve all felt like echos before. I’ve felt it on more than one occasion. Sometimes it’s like I’m a ghost, walking a familiar path every day, going through the motions, and not registering any of it. Dr. Grayson tells me it’s my role as Captain that’s creating this type of isolation but I’ve had these bouts of sleepwalking my whole life.” 

“How do you get to the other side of it?” he asked gently.

“I can only tell you what I do, but you’ll have to find your own method to pull yourself through. Start by talking to a therapist.”

The Doctor scoffed, “I highly doubt there’s a therapist who specializes in Hologram adolescences.”

“No, but there are Doctors who deal with depression. Find one that can help you detangle your thoughts and find the peace you deserve. There’s not a single being alive that hasn’t at some point in their life searched for a way to define themselves. You’ll figure it out.”

In that moment, they heard a soft pattering of feet come their way and Miral appeared in front of them, a mischievous grin on her face.

Kathryn swooped her up in her arms and said, “I see someone snuck away from mom and dad.”

Miral played with her Captains bars and said, “Mommy and daddy are loud talking again.”

Kathryn furrowed her brow. “They are?”

“Cappy?”

Kathryn smiled at her nickname. “Yes cadet?”

“This is a party for Ichy right?”

“Yes, it is.”

“Don’t parties have cake?”

Kathryn and the Doctor laughed. Miral stared bewildered, unclear why they found it funny.

“You’re right Miral! We forgot the cake!”

Kathryn, still holding Miral, strode to the replicator and quickly created a small cupcake and gave it to the toddler, who delicately peeled the paper off and took a big bite, pleased with herself.

“Please tell me you didn’t just give Miral sugar?” pleaded Tom Paris as he and B’elanna came towards them. “She’s sleeping with you tonight then.”

Miral looked at Kathryn with glee at the prospect of spending a whole night with one of her favorite people, her nose now covered in pink frosting and her green dress full of crumbs.

Kathryn gave her a small frown and said, “Unfortunately, Captains aren’t allowed sleepovers.”

She gave Miral a small hug and handed her to Tom whispering, “Besides, being Godmother means I get to stuff her full of sugar and hand her back to you.”

Tom gave her a reproachful look as she wiped the frosting off Mirals nose.

“Miral says you were loud talking again,” Kathryn mentioned.

Tom and B’elanna shared a look before B’elanna said agitatedly, “It’s the same argument. We’re going in circles.”

“I see,” Kathryn said, trying to find the words that might help. “I hope you both know that whatever decision you come to, you have my full support. Can I just say though, as Godmother, I wouldn’t mind having another little one running around. A boy perhaps?”

Tom frowned and said, “Captain please. I have a hard enough time convincing B’elanna.”

B’elanna furrowed her eyebrows, “I just don’t understand why you wouldn’t want one more. It’s not like you’d be the one pushing it out of _your_ body.”

“I’m not having this argument again,” Tom ended.

“Why not? We can have the Captain be our moderator.”

“hardly an unbiased one.”

“Tom please, I don’t want Miral to be alone. I mean, I hope nothing happens to us, but what if it does? We’re still 40 years away from the Alpha Quadrant. She’ll have no family. I want her to have that support. Didn’t you want a sibling when you were a kid?”

“No. I relished being the apple of my parent’s eyes. Look, I’ve given you my reasons. Why isn’t that enough? Why isn’t _this_ enough?”

“Because I’m afraid it won’t be enough for her.”

“Nothing is going to happen to us. She’ll be fine.” 

“You don’t know that.”

“I do because I won’t let it.”

“You know that’s not how this works. In the ten years we’ve been on this ship we’ve nearly died countless times, the ship taken from us countless times. This life we have is dangerous.”

Tom shook his head, putting Miral down on the floor who immediately scurried off over to Naomi to show off what was left of her cupcake. Tom whispered angrily, “I’m not about to condemn another child to our fate. I love Miral with every fiber of my being, but having her was selfish. This is no life for a child. Besides, I’m not- I mean I can’t-” Tom huffed, trying to find the words that would best explain. “Do you remember Miral’s first birthday?” B’elanna nodded, unclear where he was going. “I thought I’d lost you both for good, because things like an escape pod distress beacon malfunctioning is something that just happens here. I can’t bring another child into _our_ world when any second they could be taken away from me.”

B’elanna softened. “Tom-”

“No, I’m done talking. Besides, I promised Harry I’d relieve him so he could spend some time at the party.” He turned to leave when he stopped and turned back around, and said softly, “I love you. I’ll see you in our quarters in a few hours,” and gave B’elanna a kiss. She watched as he found Miral, gave her a big hug, unknowingly getting frosting from her little fingers all over the back of his jacket.

The Captain watched the entire exchange, and laughed as she watched him leave, startling B’elanna, who forgot she was still there.

She said sheepishly, “I’m sorry Captain, we’ve been like this for weeks.”

“It’s fine. You guys will figure it out. I’ve seen worse fights than this from you two.”

“Yeah maybe. I just don’t know how to convince him and with Miral, we just don’t really have the space to argue it out and he keeps walking away from it.” B’elanna, tired of talking about it, changed the subject. “No Tuvok tonight?”

Kathryn’s gaze hit the floor. “No.”

B’elanna looked at her knowingly.

“I see.”

She cast her gaze out to the crowd for a change of subject and landed on Seven and Chakotay still chattering with Icheb. It looked like she might be giving him a lecture, more like it, and she could tell that Chakotay’s attention was wavering.

“You know, I told Seven that dress required heels but she wouldn’t have it. The fact that she refused to abide by the rules I told her makes me so proud.” B’elanna grinned. Kathryn gave her a small grin in return, her thoughts still wandering to Tuvok. “You know, I never in a million years would have put Seven and Chakotay together and yet here they are three years later. Then again, how many people would’ve bet Tom and I were going to end up together?”

“Actually, there was a betting pool. I nearly won except Tom asked you out a month too soon.”

B’elanna’s jaw dropped. “There was not!”

Kathryn smiled, “No, there wasn’t, but you two filled the air with so much tension I was about ready to do something myself.”

Chakotay finally looked up to see B’elanna staring at the pair of them and giving him a small wave. He used it as an excuse to make his exit and joined the two women.

“Your words were beautiful and poignant as always Captain,” Chakotay offered.

Kathryn grinned appreciatively. “Thank you. I’ll admit, I’ve made so many speeches over the years, I feel I’m running out of material,” she replied. She looked back over to Icheb and Seven. “I’ve never seen Icheb so happy. Him and Seven both.”

“You know, Naomi mentioned she’d want to join when she turned 18 as well,” Chakotay chimed.

“That’s only a year from now!” B’elanna said flabbergasted.

“Is it really?” remarked Kathryn. “Seems like yesterday she was skipping through our halls.”

“I know she’s half Ktarian but I swear kids can bend time. Miral was just an infant last year I swear!” B’elanna elated. “Ahhh speaking of which, she’s doing the peepee dance. Excuse me.” B’elanna handed Chakotay her drink and quickly scooped up the bouncing toddler and walked out.

Chakotay placed her drink in the replicator for recycling and said casually, “It’s days like today I can’t help but reflect on how far we’ve come. I look around at our crews and feel immense pride. I never would have dreamed I’d get to be a part of something so magnificent.”

Kathryn smiled, “I know what you mean.”

Chakotay watched Seven and Icheb still in deep conversation, and wondered, “Do you ever think of having your own someday?”

Kathryn took a long sip of her drink. It occurred to her many years back, that starting a family herself was never going to be an option. Being Captain consumed her every waking second; she would never be able to give a child the love and attention it would need. And so, she mourned privately, and allowed herself a small dose of self-pity, and then brushed herself off and started the next day. And though it hurt to have that option off the table, she also couldn’t help but feel relieved. Perhaps because a small part of her never wanted children to begin with, or perhaps her career was more important to her. Though, to her, she felt more inclined to think the relief came from never having to think about it again. The decision was made and that voice that held on to the idea that maybe one day she would change her mind could be silenced for good.

With Chakotay beside her though, she had to concede that at one point, in another reality, it would have been tempting. That ship, however, sailed away a long time ago.

“Do you?” She asked, taking the focus off herself.

Chakotay, sensing the misdirection, obliged, and said, “Seven and I have talked about it. She’s still apprehensive but she’s keeping an open mind.”

“If you time it right we could create a small school, what with Ensign Gareths twins and if we’re lucky Tom and B’elanna second little one.”

“Oh, it won’t be that soon. Ichebs the only one who can replace Seven and he’s still green.”

“And you? Who could replace you?”

“Easily anyone,” he joked. “This vessel is a well-oiled machine.”

“Thanks to you.”

“Thanks to one impeccable Captain.”

“I agree, we’re both amazing,” Kathryn joked.

Chakotay chuckled. As he looked across the crowd he realized that someone was missing.

“I see Tuvok chose to stay in tonight,” he said somberly.

“He didn’t want to ruin Icheb’s day,” she admitted.

“Did you tell him what Admiral Paris said?”

“Yes.”

“How did he take it?”

“About as well as you would expect when you tell someone their life as they know it is over.”

“You have my full support you know. Tuvok is my friend too, but I know it’s going to be hard on both of you. I know better than most what it’s like to lose a family member to mental illness. I can tell you right now, it’s going to be hard to be a bystander to their pain. I hope you know you can lean on me.”

Kathryn could feel a tear welling up in her eye and smiled gratefully, “Thank you. I appreciate it. The worst part is knowing that the cure is out there, it’s just out of our grasp. I don’t know how familiar you are with Vulcan culture, but losing your mind to them- it’s a fate worse than death. And he doesn’t even have the comfort of being surrounded by family. It just feel’s…unfair.” She finished lamely.

“But he has you,” he said softly, “and the rest of Voyager.”

“With each passing day, he loses more and more of himself. If I can’t get us back to the Alpha Quadrant soon, there won’t be much of him left.” Kathryn could feel herself welling up again, and promptly changed the subject. “Are you and Seven going to visit the new Holonovel Tom made tonight? It has rave reviews from the bridge officers.”

He blushed, “Actually, Seven and I are going on a date. Or at least, that’s all she thinks it is.”

“Oh? And what is it actually?”

“I’m going to propose,” He said quietly, a lilt of excitement in every syllable.

“Oh!” Kathryn exclaimed. “That’s wonderful!”

“In all honesty, Tuvoks predicament had me thinking. Our livelihood is too unpredictable. One of us could be gone the next day. Why put it off any longer?”

“That’s- well that’s amazing! I’m really happy for you both,” she grinned, the grip on her drink tightening.

“Well she has to say yes first,” he mused.

“Bring up the, ‘we could die any moment’ idea and she’ll have to say yes,” she joked.

“Ha, ha,” he mocked. “It looks like their finishing up now actually, wish me luck.” He recycled his drink in the replicator and headed for Seven. Kathryn watched the pair of them say their good byes and leave.

She stood for a moment by herself awkwardly, unsure what to do. Everyone around seemed in deep conversation, or were leaving in groups to Tom’s new holonovel or some other corner of the ship for privacy. She decided to leave. She said her final congratulations to Icheb before parting. Once outside the doors she realized she didn’t know where she was going. She wanted isolation and solitude, but more accurately she wanted blankness. A void of nothingness- something to reflect the emptiness she felt inside standing alone in the hallway. Chakotay had said he would be there for her but he hasn’t been there with her for three years now. Not in the same way he was before. Every conversation they had was now tainted with a barrier, a line they had been tiptoeing around was now nowhere in sight. Every conversation she had with Chakotay and Seven made her feel like the third wheel, an unwanted intruder on their relationship. Or maybe she was projecting, because every time she saw them together she remembered what she lost.

Walking the ship these days felt like the first day they were stranded, as more and more of her crew began pairing up, and with Tuvok putting himself in isolation, she felt quite like a ghost roaming the halls.

It was a painful loneliness.

Suddenly her right arm was ablaze in agony. She screamed in pain as she looked at her hands, though, they seemed fine. The pain consumed her very bones and radiated heat. Then it burst out of her shoulder and the ship fell away and revealed a golden dome, and she found herself lying on a cold stone floor. She was utterly confused, pushing the purple robed women off her limbs as the pain continued its path down her spine like a shockwave.

Finally, a head blocked the shining light from the ceiling above, and Tuvok appeared. She stopped fighting as he said calmly, “Captain, we’re going to get you out of here. The tricorder has deemed your injuries safe for transport. I’m going to pick you up. Is that okay?”

Kathryn nodded. She didn’t know what was going on but she trusted Tuvok with her life, and that’s all she had to go off of. She felt his arms scoop her up as another jolt of electricity shot through her and she passed out once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wanted to explore some of the 23 years that we didn't see from the 'original' Janeway in Endgame. It occurred to me that with Tuvok's illness, B'elanna and Tom's new family, and Chakotay and Seven dating, she'd be quite lonely.
> 
> oh, P.S, I also did very little 'research' so there could be some continuity disparities from the show but hey, that's fanfic for ya
> 
> I again, would like to point out that updates will be sporadic.

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't expecting to be writing another fic so soon but apparently my J/C itch was not satisfied. So this is my way of rectifying the travesty that was the rushed Chakotay/Seven relationship.
> 
> Updates, as always with me, will be sporadic.


End file.
